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Friday, November 26, 2010

Sometimes Life Hurts

 It seems like every time I think I have life figured out another stone is tossed in the water. The truth is when the ripples hit the water, it feels more like waves pounding on the surface of my heart. Most of the time I don't know what to do so I just wait and see how things are going to turn out.  It is by no means easy. My hope is that things will work out for the best.

It's in times like these that I really believe everything happens for a reason. I have lived long enough to see that the things we think are bad, really are a good thing in the long run. I just wish it was easier to deal with...but it isn't, and that is as they say it that. There are no excuses or even bridges over the things we have to go through. There are no short cuts in the experiences that make us who we are. If there were, you can be sure to know I would tell you where they are.

I'm sitting in my living room right now, looking at my life. Some of it is really good and other parts are wounds that will never truly heal. They don't haunt me though and I guess that's a good thing. They just are...they just exist. There are days I wish I could say 'I'm gonna go back and make a different decision' the thing is, it never works that way.

I don't know what to do all the time. I just know that right now, everything happens for a reason. There are things in life that can kill you, that should kill you but it doesn't. Divorce should kill you, but it doesn't. Your child choosing to live with a different parent, but it doesn't. Even watching your sick family member should kill you and yet, here we are, all of us still alive. We can choose to do one of two things. We can wallow in it. Drown in the sorrows that life has to give us, or now here's the hard one, we live with hope, faith and love for everything else life has to offer.

There is no other thing to say except maybe: Live with what you have, enjoy who you have and love that which is good in life. Don't focus on the negative. Most of us drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out where we went wrong. Don't do that. Learn from yesterday and hope for tomorrow but live in today.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A Little Time to Reflect

It's been such an amazing past couple of months, I have been living in what I like to call a surreal reality. Meaning- so many good things have been happening to me for the first time in my life, I'm almost afraid to say any of it out loud. I don't want to jinx anything...lol...

I know it sounds odd, but the truth is that life hasn't always been this good to me. Most of it has been because of choices either I've made or choices I've allowed to be made for me. This time though, I have made up my mind and decided I was going to go for something and I did. Now, I'm sitting here, looking into an open door to this whole other life that might actually be possible for me. This small girl who lives in a small town in the middle of nowhere might actually be heard by a publishing company.

This journey, yes it's a journey, has been a long road. It has been fraught with heartache, laughter, love and frustration. It has been full of so many things that I don't know if I can actually explain it all in this small blog. So, I'm going to focus on a small part.

As many of you know, my home burned down a few years ago. Not so much impressive there, just sad. However, what happened when I went back into the house to find out if there was anything that made it is nothing less than a miracle and a sign. My disks and a hard copy of one of my first novels was left on my desk, untouched by the fire. Beside the disks and hard copy, was my computer. The computer itself was melted into a flat plastic pancake. By all rights, my disks and the hard copy should not have made it through, let alone made it through without a single mark on them. It is my miracle and the single sign I needed to kick me in the ass. It's the thing that said "Don't give up!" So I didn't.

It took two years to get a new computer. In the mean time, I wrote. I wrote on everything. I had a notebook with me all the time. I still do. I wrote everything I saw. I even wrote things I didn't see. I wrote short stories. I wrote what ifs, names and well you name it, I wrote it.

When I picked up my new computer, it cost me a total of $405.00, but to me, it was the best thing I've ever been able to get. It's a laptop so it has wireless connecion. I love that about laptops. I went onto a website called Face Book. I'm sure everyone has heard about it. One of the first writers I met on there is named Ken Carroll. He had just announced the date of his novel. I was so excited about it and it wasn't even mine. I met him on the Writer's Dock Party. I have to say I had no idea what I was getting into when I first requested to join the group. I met so many talented and wonderful people on that group and learned even more about life then I thought possible.

The Writer's Dock Party gave me my first lesson in writing. Never give up on a dream.  You would thing that something like that would be easy to know. The truth is I didn't have enough confidence in myself to even try to become a writer. Along the way I kept writing, learning and reading. A few months later, I met Tami Snow. She is a beautiful and gifted writer who is has been a complete pleasure to work with on a blog we co-founded called Slaves to the Muse. What started off as a friendship based on a common passion, writing, has become a cherished relationship. She has become my best friend. 

Then I met James Weil, writer of Swiss Chocolate. Some where along the line, we began talking about his novel. I can't wait for all of you to read it, because it's beautiful. James read the first page of my novel, I AM WOLF, and sent me a message. He said he would volunteer to edit my novel. It was such a great opportunity for me, possibly one that changed my life. It took me three months to write I AM WOLF then another month to edit. In the mean time, he was talking to his agent, Chamein Canton. She signed me on spec. From that point on,I have been living in a surreal world. I had an agent and an editor; both of which I didn't want to disappoint. So I wrote. I wrote short stories to work on my craft while I wrote I AM WOLF at the same time. As it turned out, Chamein loves my novel just as much as James and was glad she signed me. At least to this point...lol...we will see what happens next.

I guess the whole point of what I'm saying is this, when you least expect it, you're given a chance to do something you've always wanted to do. The only thing you have to be willing to do is put the work into it. I have been blessed to meet so many talented people along the way. I've met beautiful people with amazing personalities and been privileged enough to become a small part of the writers community. I don't know what's going to happen with I AM WOLF, but I can sleep with the knowledge that I have done my job. I have completed the first steps to a long list of things I want to do. I have my fingers crossed that I AM WOLF is picked up. I'm doing a dance and singing, (sorry if you can hear me singing...lol..) I have been inspired and inspired others. That in and of itself is a beautiful thing.

Thank you for taking this surreal journey with me up to this point. I can't wait to see what happens next!!!

K, I'm off to work on book 2. Lots of love and hugs to all!!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What I Know

I hate quotations, tell me what you know. ~~Ralph Waldo Emerson~~

Inspiration comes from many places and can come from a  friend quoting a beloved poet. Thank you Jeanne Norris for inspiring me on this blog post.

What I know is simple. Life is what you make it. The seconds drift off the clock the same way for everyone. Laughter really is the best medicine. Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion. I love the laughter of children. Work hard and be true to who you are and good things will happen.  You get in return what you put out there. It's always better to listen then to talk, you never know what you'll learn. Treat others the way you want treated. Show respect to those around you. Please and thank you go a long way to building mutual respect.

Yes, the things I know are simple. They have taken a lifetime to learn. What I learn everyday builds upon what I already know and the wisdom I have is small compared to most. As we go through life we are given hardships in order to grow as people. The one thing I know is that if we don't learn from those hardships, we will repeat the process.

I'm one of those people who truly believes everything in life happens for a reason, and no matter what, when you get knocked down, it's always better to pick yourself up and dust off. Staying down gives nothing. Every person I have met has taught me something when I've taken the time to listen.

The hardest thing to do in the world for some is to admit when you're wrong. The thing about this is when we are able to admit that, then we have a chance to grow, change and learn.

As I have said, the things I know are simple. They can be summed up in a few words. They are the basic wisdom's of my life. The things I use to build upon. The foundation to every person is simple. The complexities are in the layers built on top of  the foundation. This is what I know.

Once again, thank you Jeanne Norris for quoting Ralph Waldo Emerson, it inspired me...smiles...

 
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