OMG I HATE COMPUTER VIRUSES

Over the course of the last few weeks, I have been offline because a computer virus ransacked my computer. The total cost to fix my computer was $200.00. I don't know about you, but for me that's a large sum of money to come up with. It meant sacrificing a lot of different things, including being late on the electric bill by two days. That is something I didn't like having to do, but in order to get things back to some semblance of normalcy it had to be done. The people who create these things have no idea that I have absolutely no bank account, or that I live payday to payday and don't have a single credit card. Then again, they don't care. All they want is money and information. It is because of the people who write the viruses that I am sitting here today with a little more knowledge about how things work in the digital world.

This virus also put me behind on deadlines, the three blogs I work on and it made me late on getting short stories done on time. There isn't a delicate way to put this-so I'm going to ask that you bare with me for a moment while I complain about those who are smart enough to create things like this and ask a single question. Why can't you use this knowledge and intelligence for something good that could maybe help others in this world? Why do those who are able to create things like this always go for the uses that harm rather than do good? In the long run, you gain nothing and instead of creating something you destroy. This is how I feel about those who create computer viruses. To those who create computer viruses, get a life and stop trying to steal what others have worked soooo hard to earn in their lives!!!

On to a better topic...it feels good to be back...I'm sooo happy to have my computer up and running again and I have TONS of work to do!!! Still, I look forward to once again hearing from all of you...hugs and love to all.

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Honesty and Fear

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster" Fredrich Nietzche

Can a person be too honest? At what point does honesty become just another form of resentment and an expression of discontent that spreads negativity?

While living in denial doesn't seem to work- we can't seem to face the truth as to what is going on, it seems that telling everyone everything does nothing but breed more discontentment and once again placing you in a state of denial because you think your being honest when really you're expressing anger.

In one way or another, we are all on a path of self discovery. Expression of anger is a natural thing that should not be taken light. It's a normal human emotion like love and laughter. The difference is, expressing anger should be directed towards what we are angry about. If your upset with a friend, why not say something to them?

I know this answer all too well. It's because of fear. Fear that we may hurt them, of the retaliation and even of losing that person as a friend. I have been discovering that approaching a friend with a legitimate concern is the best approach, as long as it's the right way. Approaching a friend with a concern and asking a question without blame is the best way to do it. It alleviates any pressure and pain it may cause the other person. It also allows for an open and honest conversation with that person. It also takes assumption out of the loop and doesn't let feelings of resentment enter because of our own insecurities.

Fear is a trigger for a lot of our everyday responses. If allowed it will dictate how we conduct ourselves and even how we approach good things that happen in or lives. Fear/honesty, two different sides of the same coin. WHAT?? I bet is what you're asking right now...lol...

It's like this, honesty, while it is a good thing and is always the best policy. If we aren't living in denial and really just using it to express anger- is one side of the coin. It dictates our lives on every level.
Fear, the other side of the coin also dictates our lives if it is allowed. Fear also leads to denial and can enter or lives at every level. In this way, fear and honesty are the same.

If we are really trying to make a difference in our lives, then we must recognize when we are being dictated by fear or honesty. We must see past it and not become the very thing we are afraid of or are in denial of.

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You never know what life will bring!!!

I have been blown away by the respose to my blog, novel and just over all, everything. There is a whole list of people I am so thankful to have in my life. They have all made me feel like I soar through the clouds. That's a good thing, since that's where my mind is...he he he

I know I have a loooong ways to go before I'm where I want to be. That's ok though, because I have never had so much support in my life as I have with all of you and my family. In no particular order, I would like to thank the following people.

James Weil, whose novel Swiss Chocolate is coming out soon. I will be making an annoucement on the day his book comes out!!  Has been hard at work, editing my novel I AM WOLF, and pushing me harder than anyone ever has in my life. Thank you for that!!!

Rachel Cook, whose inspirational wisdom has inspired, Chaos and the Beltane. Thank you for always being a good friend.

Abigail Madison, Whose sweet voice captured my heart from the moment I read her blog....thank you for always reading my stories even when they needed serious help...smiles...

Jeanne Sampson, a girlfriend who is my confidant and my voice of reason. I don't know how many times I have sent messages to you going on and on about everyrthing and nothing.

Chamein Canton, my agent..a person who has given me a chance to win a ticket to the show...smiles...thank you...smiles...

Tami Snow, whose always supportive and just as nervous as I am when it comes to posting our little creations...lol...Thank you for being a GREAT partner on Slaves to the Muse.

Chris Bennett, who seems to be able to read my mind..lol...we are cosmically connected...smiles...

Chantell Alarcon, my rock, my sister and always my guide. I love you girl!!

Bryce Main, who is always such a positive influence. Thank you for that...smiles..hugs...

Last but not least, John Buchanan. You are the other half of myself. I don't know what I would do if you weren't there driving me forward everyday. Making you proud and our family proud is what keeps me going. I love you always...

I bet your wondering why I'm thanking these people on this day as if I had won an academy award. The answer is simple. I have been looking at all the awesome things that have gone on in my life lately and it is because of their unwavering support that has made me believe that there really are dreams that come true. It just reinforces my belief that everything happens for a reason and meeting each of these people has touched my life in such a positive way, I will never be able to repay that no matter what I do. We all have a circle of friends and family...well, this one is mine. I'm thankful for each of them...hugs to all...smiles...

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Good Morning

There are times when I wonder what is going to happen next and times when I want to just freeze a moment.

I'm sure everyone has those. A moment of pure joy that can't be duplicated. This weekend I had one watching the kids play.

It started when my son Josh said as a joke that everyone should just go to his room. So John and I looked at eachother and we all piled into his room and sat there and talked. It was a perfect moment. Trystan sat in between the guys and Carolyne sat on the floor. We just joked around and talked a little. We wern't unterrupted by tv or anything else. It was a perfect moment. One that I will always treasure.

This morning, Trystan did the cutest thing, my one year old who normally wakes me up by smacking me in the head, gave me a kiss on the cheek instead. He had this big smile on his face when I opened my eyes. It's the small things that count, especially during a time when all the big things seem so overwhelming.

Money is always tight. I'm tired of that. I have looked for a job. So far nothing is available. I hope something opens up soon. It would be nice to have a little breathing room again. It doesn't have to be much, but it would be nice...smiles...

So that was my weekend. It was busy and full of special moments I wanted to be able to freeze and enjoy a little longer....isn't that always the best?

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What is the one question you hate the most?

I hate the following question:

So, tell me about yourself.

It's a statement with a question. It says, wow me and make me want to pay attention to you. I never know what to say to this. It makes me draw a blank, not because I don't know who I am, but because I don't know what you want to know...lol...

I often wonder who the person was and what they were doing when they came up with what is now a universal interview question. I think for the most part, the person was bored with who they were talking to and just wanted that person to speak with out having to listen.

Interviews are really something I should excell at by now. I mean I have been through enough of them because of all the moves to have it down to a science. Yet, when a person asks me that single statement /question, I have yet to find a good formula. I'm a talented, creative person with a flare for business who constantly excells at blowing away the competition in any kind of sales....lmao...so if I feed that line of crap to someone, I wonder what they would think. If someone fed me that line, I would wonder how long they practiced it in the mirror.

I would love to hear some of the answers you have given to this question during an interview. I look forward to lots of laughs...smiles...hugs...

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Judgement based on Religion

This is sparked by an interesting conversation about religion on a friend's page. I'm so passionate about it that I felt is was necessary to post it on my blog. All that I have said is from a conversation.

About the Ten Commandments
Truth be told, if you are looking at it from a religious stand point then God wrote them. This is where faith comes into play. I believe in God. That doesn't mean I make it my personal vendetta to make everyone be afraid and or shove it down their throats. It's unfair and not right. There are so many different beliefs and if you ask me, in some way they are all in a way symbolically the same. Treat others the way you want treated. Don't cause harm to anyone else, and find a balance within. Why should we as human beings limit our spiritual growth by subjecting ourselves to one narrow belief when there are so many more out there we can all learn wisdom from? In the long run, it's about faith. You have it or you don't. Either way, it's not my place to judge you or anyone else for their beliefs. That's not why I'm here. I'm amazed by the fact that with all the talk of free speech, there are people who would try to use scare tactics as a way to force someone to believe the way they believe. The fact of the matter is, if we wish to have freedom of speech, then we need to be able to listen to a person who is standing on a soap box preaching against that which we ourselves have held up and fought for our entire lives. We must do this without fear of judgement or incitement to riotous acts. When it comes down to it, belief in any system, no matter which religion, is a personal choice and should be respected. I meant it when I told Tracie that she has more discipline than I...such a beautiful thing to try to live by. That's not to say that hers is the only way. Just the whole idea of finding the balance within your self to live in such a disciplined manner is something I'm not sure I could accomplish.


If we look at the Bible as a nothing more than a record of history, then we must assume that what we read in there is an account based on the perception at the time. ie, Moses went up the mountain and came down with ten laws we were suppose to live by...The Ten Commandments. Who am I to say that isn't correct. I'm not sorry to say, I believe in the story and that it is accurately depicted in the Bible. That is where my faith is. However, that doesn't mean I sit in judgement of others whose faith is elsewhere. Faith is a word that stands for a lot of things. It is something we should have in humanity and ourselves. It's easy to lose and hard to get back. It should be treated with respect and should be shared when asked about...not used as a tool for fear. Fear breeds hate and that is a disease that needs vaccinated. James, be yourself first and always. I would trust that above any blind leading the blind individual who doesn't want to listen to how you feel about a subject that should be used to lift people up, not bring them down.

About War

I know that I said all I had to say, but that changed when you said you don't know of Christians who are going out and starting wars. We can start with the Crusades and work our way to the present. The fact more people have died in the name of Christianity then any other religion. I too believe in God and Jesus, but-I know the history and recognize the validity and wisdom of listening to others who believe different. I have learned the difference between religion and spirituality by listening to my fellow humans. I have but one simple question to ask...how can any of us be a work in progress if we are not willing to listen to one another? That is for all of us to do and the only way we can learn. Having an open mind and seeing all the wonderful things and people in this world is why we are here...So many times we have all judged one another for no other reason then because we are unwilling to open our hearts and minds to understand one another. We are fighting a battle even now. That battle is one of hatred. It's dressed in the clothing of terrorism and even carries a gun. How can we, as a species survive if we are unwilling to do the one thing God commanded. Treat others as we wish to be treated. (Joann's paraphrase) I understand the reason for all that you have said. However, isn't it always better to forgive and understand then to condemn and accuse when we by all rights have no legs to stand on. Tami said simple and best...Judge not lest ye be judged. We can all quote the Bible. We all have a different perception when it comes to what things mean. I think we can all agree on the simplest of terms that has been placed on us though, treat those the way we want treated. If we can all do that simplest of things...then I believe we could and would be able to put a stop to so many things that are going on int he world today. With an open mind and an open heart we can all make a change.

In truth, I am a Christian, I have very strong beliefs about the Bible and what it means to me. I don't believe it should be used as a weapon of fear but rather as a way to convey love and understanding. I have said it before and I'll say it again. I have a lot of friends of other religions. I have learned so many wonderful and wise things from them. Their spirituality has touched my life more than any threat of going to hell ever could. I respect the right to have different beliefs and respect the fact that there are those out there who have and can teach me something different that will make me grow as a person. Why should we fight about something that is suppose to lift us up as people and make our souls grow?

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STOP THE HATRED

"It can be argued that hatred is a living thing. More destructive than any weapon, more insidious than any sin. Hatred can shatter families, topple nations and given time, unmake the world." ~ C. D. Bennett~

Hatred is a disease for which there is no vaccination. How is it, that so many people are able to sit in judgement about another person's life. We see it everyday on the news and even in the magazines we read. We see rumors about people we don't know and are drawn to them. Don't we have enough to worry about without trying to figure out what is going on with some movie star's divorce?

The fact is that we all are just trying to live our lives in the best way we see fit. Why does it have to include hating someone because they don't believe the way you do, or they have a different sexual preference? Why not take a person based on how they behave as an individual? If a person treats you  good and fair and honest, shouldn't they be treated with the same respect?

It amazes me that we are living in a time with so much technology and so much individual free spirit and we can't seem to get past the same old issues. Judgement of others just for the sake of judging. For those who sit on their pedestal, I say get a life. Stop spreading hate. Stop thinking you are holier than thou and get out there and make a difference. What better place to start, then with yourself?

We have problems in this world that are bigger than a single person can handle. We all need to do our part by not giving in to hate. We need to set an example through our own actions and behaviors. It isn't going to be easy, but, if just one person does it, then so will others. That is how we vaccinate hate.

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