Feeling Introverted: One Writer's Journey

There are alot of things that goes through my mind when I find out someone has requested my novel. You would think I would be exhilarated by the thought that a company is reading it. Truth is I'm nervous as hell and can't think of anything accept what if they don't like it. Or better yet, what if they do? The very idea that I may actually be in black and white is something I'm so scared of right now I feel like screaming. I want to jump up and down for joy over the prospect. While at the same time, I'm afraid to get my hopes up. Really when you think about it there is that very possibility they could say NO.

This ride I've been on has taken me on a lot of twists and turns. I think it's the same and different for all of us who are trying to do this very same thing. I try to keep a calm exterior and let the world know that I understand the real possibility they could say no. Inside it's a whole other story. I'm dying to hear the simple words "We want to sign you." I'm excited beyond belief and I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I can't though. I'm too afraid to sound cocky and too afraid to jinx it.

 More likely than not they will because I'm a first time writer. No one wants to take a chance on an unknown. I don't understand this all the way. I mean isn't everyone an unknown until someone gives them a shot? You have to find an editor who falls in love with your work. At least that's what I've been told. My single question is how d you make someone fall in love with your work? I think it's like falling in love...you can't force it.. Love is something that just happens. It isn't forced or coaxed into a person's soul.

For now, I will continue to hope and pray. I'll keep a smile on my face. I mean after all, they didn't have to request to read it at all. They could have laughed my agent out the door. Who knows what will happen?