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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Miracles

      "For kindness is indeed sublime and worth the trouble anytime. Sincerity is all we need to help us do a friendly deed." Quoted from a poem by Jo Petty in the book Wings of Silver.

      To me, kindness is the biggest little miracle there is. It is a smile to someone who wears a scowl. A word or a tender touch that is given in a time of need.

      The reason I ask if kindness is considered a miracle is this; I have said it before and I will say it again, a smile saved my life.

      I had a miscarriage six years ago. It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. I had already heard the heart beat. I went into my next doctor's appointment, thinking everything was ok. The P A brought in her little fetal monitor, and nothing happened. No sound. Nothing. I was confused. I thought that maybe the thing was broke. She stepped out of the room for a few minutes and then came back with the doctor. He listened to the fetal monitor, and again, nothing. Silence. There is nothing worse than silence when you are in a room like this. The doctor and the P A left the room then returned a few minutes later with a portable ultrasound machine.

      I remember thinking, " Cool, I get to see the baby." I was so niave to what was happening.
    
     That was when the doctor spoke. "I'm sorry, but you are having a miscarriage."
     
     I didn't understand. I wasn't bleeding and I didn't have any cramps. So naturally I was confused. I remember the words echoed from his lips. I began to cry and I asked him if he was sure. The answer was yes. He checked me into the hospital for a D and C because I have blood clotting issues. Truth be told, right now, I'm glad that it happened this way. I was put under and woke up without feeling a single thing. At least physically that is.
     
      For the most part, I felt numb inside. A dark hole had formed in my soul. The hospital kept me over night so they could monitor my protimes and make sure I was going to heal ok. The next morning, I woke up and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that I had or hadn't done to cause this to happen. Just about the time I had decided that it was my fault, a woman from the gift shop came in. In her hands was a small vase of flowers. She had a smile on her face.

      It turned out, I wasn't the person who was suppose to receive the flowers. It didn't matter though, because she stayed and talked with me for hours. When we were through, I felt ok. I no longer blamed myself. Her smile and small act of kindness lifted that moment and changed how I felt. I didn't end up holding onto the guilt. I was still sad, but the despair was gone, all because a nice woman entered in the wrong room wearing a smile on her face.

      I don't know what would have happened if I would have carried around the guilt from that day. I'm thankful I never have to find out. Kindness is a miracle that can save a person's life.

      I bet you're wondering why I'm posting such a personal time in my life. The answer is simple for me. The personal tragedy taught me that the simple act of kindness can make the biggest difference in a person's life. They are small everyday miracles that usually go unnoticed. I'm hoping that what happened to me, will inspire others to do a single act of kindness. You never know what will happen and how it will affect that person's life. It is the biggest little miracle there is...smiles...hugs to all...

3 comments:

Nate Balko said...

hey there like the blog, easy on the eyes... hope to have a follow back from you!

Gill said...

As someone who has experienced something similar (and quite traumatic in the way it was handled), this piece of writing touched me. Thanks for sharing it Joann.

Browneyegirl145 said...

Gill, You are welcome. If you ever feel the need to talk about it, send me a message anytime...smiles...

Nate, I'm new to blogging, how do i find your blog? Leave me a link and I will follow. I plan on posting a list of blogs that I follow on here...let me know if you want to be included...smiles...hugs....

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