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Monday, October 18, 2010

How to find Balance

How do I find that balance between work and home? It seems to me that one or the other always misses out on something.

I work a part-time job. I love what I do. The thing is, sometimes when I'm there, I feel a little guilty because I also feel like I should be at home as well. I actually need the break away from home more than anything. I need to have something that is just for me.

I often ask myself if its selfish to want something for just me. I know that I should always take care of myself. Yet, here I am, sitting in my sweats today because it's Monday, and the kids and house always need done before I have any time for me.

I would love to know what goes through my little one's minds when I drop them off at the daycare. granted the person who watches them is terrific, however, that doesn't mean that she can take my place. Nor does she even try. I just feel bad because Trystan latches on to me and cries when I drop him off. What is he thinking? Is he thinking I don't want him anymore?

In truth, part of me wants to snatch him up and take him with me when I go to work. I know it isn't possible. How do other women do it?

The flip side to the whole thing is I love my job. I work with a zany group at a radio station. They are fun and professional at the same time. I fit in there. It feels good to fit in where you work. It also feels good knowing that I'm not useless and that there is more to me than changing diapers and doing dishes. When I'm at work, the laundry doesn't call out to me and my train of thought always stays on track. At work, I'm not Joann the mom, I'm Joann the coworker with thoughts and ideas that are listened to. I love that!!! I love the adult conversation and all that I'm learning. I have a sense of accomplishment.

Still, the question remains, how do the women who have it all do it all? That is what I want to


Rachel C. said...

How do I do it? I don't! Oh sure, I love a clean kitchen, I just don't like being the one to clean it, and I don't love a clean kitchen so much that I'm willing to argue about it either.

Chores are forever, but babies grow up, might as well enjoy childhood while it lasts and when they get old enough you can all make a game out of cleaning and cooking together.

Abigail-Madison Chase said...

My children are exactly 2 years 1 day apart (March 1-March 30). Just when one started to walk the other was born. I use to think I would never dig my way out of bottles and laundry.

My son, Hunter was a jewel and loved daycare. My dear daughter Shelby hated daycare from the day I dropped her off at 6 weeks old until her last day there at 13. (Yes she went until 13 and called me every day to complain).

Shelby cried and threw a fit every day I dropped her off. I would leave in tears. I consulted my mom, my pediatrician anyone that would listen. To make it worst she would not eat during the day. I breast feed so that made me feel even guiltier.

I would just hang my head and the Director would say "Mrs. Chase after you leave she is fine." I tested the theory and dropped in a couple times and sure enough she was playing and enjoying her time with the other kids. I am a mom and I wanted to make sure she was ok so umm yeah I looked through the window a couple of times.
I clean my own kitchen despite asking the kids. I have written chart after chart to dull out chores. But there are those time when we clean together and laugh and have fun. I hate to complain so I clean it myself and they get no allowance. I even make their beds though my son has informed me that “he is only going to get back in at night so why bother”.
I always think "If only I could have 5 minutes to myself" as the kid’s pound on the bathroom door yelling "mom". I always laugh when I think of that. It’s the one thing that gets left out. “From this moment on you will never be able to use the bathroom alone again.”

I really don't think anyone has it all! It just seems that way. If you look closely you see moms who are frazzled and at their wits ends.

I love working because for a few short hours every day: someone actually does listen to me, does what I say, does not talk back nor do they mumble under their breath. I actually get a little respect and guess what I can be right about stuff! Go figure.

I say hang in there Joann and if you ever figure out how to have it all let me know I could make lots of money off that book!

Joann Buchanan said...

You guys crack me up. I know the feeling Abigail. Today I found myself listening just behind the closed door to make sure Trystan was ok. I waited for what seemed like forever and then he stopped crying. I felt good about that.

Rachel, My kids always fight with me abou chores. Their rooms are always a mess because I just don't have a lot of time to make it right. Tomorrow, I'm off and they are at school. I'm cleaning them...I wonder how they will feel about just can't take it all being a mess all the time. It's driving me crazy trying to make sure everything gets done. I just don't have all the energy I had about 10 years is another day though...smiles....

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