Is IT Normal?

I'm sitting here in front of my computer, working on book 2 of I AM WOLF called THE KISS, and I can't help but think that perhaps I can do a better job on this one. I often worry about the simplicity of my work. I don't use words that fall under the category of SAT nor do I always make the chapters real long. There are times when I wonder if what I'm writing is actually good, or if I'm just fooling myself into thinking it's good.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of my work. I think I've weaved a great story. I just hope that...well I guess I hope it's fantastic and that the companies and the powers that be will love it as much as I do. It's hard to know what people think. It's even harder when I hear, "OMG I love your work"

I think it's because I'm still waiting for the validation that comes from signing a contract. The ever desired contract is the coveted prize of a novelist. It contains a golden ticket to the show. Much like Willie Wonka's golden tickets in the chocolate bars, they are rare and hard to attain. Getting one means a tour around the factory; or in this case, a tour around the publishing world. I don't know what to do accept what I'm already doing.

The cool thing about all of it is I love every second. Well, that is accept for the waiting part. I'm pretty sure I'm right when I say there isn't a single writer who loves the waiting game. I do get the whole point of it though. Editors have stacks of manuscripts from would be novelist who are vying for the same golden ticket. They slave through a pile of slush and read more than their fair share of works. I get why Stephen King said, "To edit is Divine."  I get the reason for the waiting and know without a doubt they will eventually get to mine. I just hope they're in a good mood when it happens.

This personal journey into the writing world has not only given me such profound respect for the powers that be in the houses, but it has given me a small group of friends I will always cherish. James Weil, my editor and a person who has such amazing belief in my writing is just one of them. He and a few others are the reason I started the radio show. You see, as you know, I don't have a lot of money and I can't always show up to events to support my friends. So I thought to myself, "What can I do to help get the word out about their work?" That's when it hit me, I could do the radio show and it would be fun.

In the end, I may not receive the ever coveted golden ticket to the show, but there isn't a single person who can take away from me all the memories I've built along the way. Now that is a golden ticket indeed.